Erica
1.10.2010
Did I ever tell you that my name used to be Erica?
Yes, for three days that was my identity…Baby Girl Erica H.
Before I was adopted.
Sometimes I think of changing my name back to Erica. I’ve always liked it.
Of course, nobody would understand and I would get tired of explaining myself…
Identity is important, though. To me.
Female, adoptee, daughter, wife, lover, fighter, mother, friend, woman, designer, writer, human being…
patois on 10 Jan 2010 at 1:37 pm #
Interesting. I know there are some famous Ericas out there, but I am always drawn to remember the infamous Erica of All My Children.
It strikes me that before you were the Caffeinatrix, you were (still are) IzzyMom, yeah? You can be a whole lot of different people, for sure.
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msdarkstar on 10 Jan 2010 at 1:48 pm #
I found out at age 27 that my birth name was Cynthia Lynn.
I can’t imagine having gone through life with that name.
I think you are the first other blogger I know who is also an adoptee (I am sure that there are others, just no one talks about it).
Erica is a good, strong name. But changing your name is likely more trouble than it’s worth.
msdarkstar’s last blog post..Cuz the “cool kids” are doin’ it…
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Desert Songbird on 10 Jan 2010 at 3:23 pm #
I know someone who found out that her mother had always wanted to name her Shayne, but when she was born, the father decided to name her something else. When the girl turned 18, she legally changed her name to Shayne. I say if it fits, then do it, explanations be damned.
Desert Songbird’s last blog post..Aging Ruminations/EDITED TO ADD
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Shannon on 10 Jan 2010 at 5:15 pm #
My husband and I are just starting the process of adopting. We plan to adopt internationally and even though we are still probably years from bringing a child home I am already thinking about names (I have 2 bio kids and agonizing over their names was one of my greatest pleasures in life - I love it!). I have been wondering about what it would mean to give an adopted child a completely different name. There are lots of reasons to change it (a more North American name might help a kid fit in better, giving a child a name is a special way of bonding with them) but I have wondered what that might mean for that child when they grow up. Would they be sad that we took away something that was not only a connection to the place they came from, but maybe even the mother who gave them up? You don’t sound like you are bitter and I’m sure that it is an issue that can be discussed logically and often adopted children’s names are incorporated into their new names these days (like keeping their original name as a middle name) but man, I have already spent more time thinking about this than I thought possible! I guess what I’m asking is, do you wish your parents had kept your name when they adopted you?
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The Caffeinatrix replied:
January 10th, 2010 at 5:18 pm
You know, I wish they had, but I doubt they ever even knew it. I found out I was adopted just a year before my only remaining parent died. It was actually my birthmother who told me she named me Erica.
Good luck with your adoption :)
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PunditMom/Joanne Bamberger on 10 Jan 2010 at 5:17 pm #
Did I know this? If I did forgive me for forgetting. It’s important to me to be able to tell PunditGirl, who is adopted, about any of my friends who might have stories to share when she gets older.
xxoo
PunditMom/Joanne Bamberger’s last blog post..Hillary Clinton — Reproductive Rights & Gender Equality Essential to Global Prosperity
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The Caffeinatrix replied:
January 10th, 2010 at 5:21 pm
I’m not sure if you knew or not. I’ve written about being adopted a handful of times. My situation is a little different than most in that I was never told and I was 34 when I found out.
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anymommy on 11 Jan 2010 at 12:31 am #
Thanks for writing about this a little. I just visited for the first time and was very struck by this subject. We adopted our daughter and brought her home at 14 months. We did change her name - giving her a name we loved as her first name and keeping the name her birth mother chose as her middle name. I wonder all the time if she will want to use the name first given to her when she is old enough to choose.
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michelle on 14 Jan 2010 at 10:12 pm #
i was anne marie… i’m soooooooooo not an anne marie now, but i’m plagued with the what ifs :/
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Angela at mommy bytes on 20 Jan 2010 at 11:01 am #
When I first found out that your name was Janet, I thought it didn’t fit you. Erica is nice, so I’ll call you that ;)
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